We Have Some Sirius Problems
by Erenelle
Summary: Everyone talks about the Marauders and Sirius's time with them. It's an interesting if overwritten subject. In this story, we're going to explore Sirius's home life.
1. Platform Nine and Three-Quarters

Platform 9 ¾. The gateway to a world free of Blacks. Sirius was having trouble controlling his excitement, much to his mother's disapproval.

"Stand still. You are the heir to a long line of noble wizards, act like it."

"Yes, Mother." Sirius crossed his arms, forcing himself to stay still. Next to him, his younger brother Regulus smirked at him. Only nine years old, Regulus already held himself with great composure. This annoyed Sirius greatly.

The Hogwarts Express rolled into the platform, accompanied by a loud horn.

The platform seemed to explode with action. All the children that had been sitting around, bored, were now hurriedly saying their goodbyes to their families. Attendants helped a few of the smaller children load their bags. A light-haired boy a few feet away was crying and clutching his stuffed bear.

Orion Black, Sirius's father, instructed his house elf to take Sirius's bags onto the train, then turned to Sirius.

"Now, son, remember to be respectful, even to those who are beneath you. Respect will get you places, especially here."

"Yes, sir."

"It's fine if you don't make Slytherin, not every Black has, and Ravenclaw is a perfectly respectable house. But remember that you can ask the Sorting Hat to put you in Slytherin."

"Yes, sir." Sirius was barely paying attention anymore. His eye had been caught by a young dark-haired boy who was sitting on top of the train and posturing for all the girls.

"Be careful that you don't hurt our reputation. After the incident at your party, your mother was of a mind to-"

The boy on the roof was now standing and flexing his twigs of arms. An older woman with similarly dark hair screamed, "James!"

Her husband brandished his wand, "James Potter if you don't get down here this instant so help me you will _not_ be going to Hogwarts!"

James made a face but climbed down.

Sirius laughed to himself.

His mistake.

"Sirius Orion, pay attention to your father!" His mother shrieked, somehow managing to still be quiet.

Sirius quickly looked back at his family, "Sorry, Father."

The train whistle blew. Five minutes before it would leave.

Mother was glaring at him, arms crossed. Father patted him on the shoulder.

"Have a good year, son."

"Thank you, Father."

Regulus glared at him, his impartial face masking the mixture of jealousy and fear that Sirius knew he was feeling. Sirius's leaving meant that Regulus was alone to deal with their mother's anger and their father's complacency. Regulus would no longer have someone to blame...or someone who actually cared about him."

Sirius frowned, "See you, Reg."

Regulus nodded, ever formal, "Sirius."

With one last glance in his little brother's direction, Sirius turned and walked to the train. It was only the dread of Regulus's fate that kept him from yelling with the joy of leaving.

He entered the train and started heading for the back, looking in each compartment. Halfway down the train, he saw his cousin Narcissa laughing with a blond boy. He quickly ducked out of sight before she could see him.

"Sirius?"

His second cousin, Andromeda, was coming down the corridor, holding a glass of water and the hand of a Hufflepuff boy.

Sirius stood up and stepped out of sight of Narcissa's compartment.

"Hey, Andromeda."

"I forgot it was your first year here," Andromeda let go of the boy's hand and attempted to subtly shove him away from her. He didn't move.

"Yeah...I thought you were dating a Slytherin. Yaxley, was it?"

"I-I am."

Sirius shrugged, "Doesn't look like it, but okay." He started to walk past her, but she grabbed his arm.

"Please, Sirius, you can't tell anyone about this. You know how our family would react."

Sirius was surprised by the fear in her eyes, but he nodded, "You know I won't tell. But if you're trying to keep it a secret, you'll have to do better than this."

Andromeda let go of him, "Thank you. You're a good kid, Sirius."

As he walked away, he heard her add to her boyfriend, "If they manage to ruin him too, I swear I'll kill every one of them."

A few compartments down, he saw the boy that had stood on top of the train-James, sitting with a crying girl and a grumpy looking boy.

He opened the compartment door and James looked up, looking excited.

"Hey." he greeted.

Sirius flopped down onto the seat across from him, "Everywhere else's full. Name's Sirius."

"James. James Potter."

"I saw that stunt you pulled out there. Pretty gutsy."

He laughed, "That's not what my parents thought, but thanks."

Sirius laughed, and the conversation lapsed into silence.

The sad pair in the corner were deep in conversation about...petunias?

Sirius leaned forward to listen closer, but James interrupted.

"What house do you think you'll be in?"

Sirius shrugged, "Who knows?"

"Well I know where I'll be," James grinned and stood up, raising his hand like he was holding a sword, "Gryffindor, where dwell the brave of heart! Like my dad."

The boy in the corner made a derisive noise.

James turned, suddenly defensive, "Got a problem with that?"

"No," the boy's voice was too cold for his age, "As long as you prefer brawn over brain."

Sirius stood up, "You wouldn't know much about either, now would you, you sniveling coward?"

The boy started to draw his wand, but his girlfriend pulled him back, "Let's go, Severus." Her voice was stern, and as she marched him out, she glared over her shoulder at Sirius and James.

"See ya around...Snivellus!" James called after him.

Sirius snorted, "Snivellus?"

"Did you see his nose, all long and sniveling?"

The boys exploded into laughter, clutching their sides and rolling on the floor.

"Would you two mind quieting down?"

Sirius looked up at the door. His vision was blurred with tears of laughter, but what he saw sent him into the rages of male puberty.

The girls standing in the door was absolutely breathtaking. Her dyed brown hair hung loosely to her shoulders, her dark eyes scanned the room. She was already wearing her school robes, plus the extra flair of a dark purple scarf wrapped around her neck. She was holding a roll of parchment, and curled around her feet was a pure black cat.

James noticed that Sirius had stopped laughing and looked up.

"Oh, hi, didn't see you there, Allie."

Allie rolled her eyes, "I'm not surprised. Now, will you please quiet down. I know it's your first year and you're excited, but Heather is trying to help another first year through their nerves, and you two are not helping."

James waved her off, "They'll be fine."

"James," her voice lowered, her eyes shooting daggers at the boy, "If you don't quiet down I will tell your mother."

James just laughed, "Whatever you say, Al."

"You are going to be the death of me," Allie sighed dramatically, then turned and left, leaving her cat behind.

The cat lazily stood up, not even bothering to open its eyes, and, tail dragging, followed her.

"Who was that?" Sirius asked.

"A family friend," James closed the compartment door, "She's a second year, and thinks she's so much better than me because of it. Though," James paused, considering, "Then again, she's always thought she was better than me."

"Is she...single?" Sirius tried to say it casually, as if he didn't really care, but it didn't come out right.

James laughed, "That depends on who you ask."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see."

"Oh come on, man. You've got to give me more than that!"

James smirked, "Oh look, the train's stopping."

As they climbed off of the train, Sirius saw Allie and a Hufflepuff girl escorting the boy with the stuffed bear over to the first year group.


	2. The Great Hall

The first years filed in to the the Great Hall. While all the other kids were staring in awe at the decorations, Sirius was looking around, seeing if he could find which house Allie was in. He finally saw her once they had lined up in single file at the front of the room. She was sitting at the Slytherin table, a cute grin on her face as she lightly punched the shoulder of the boy sitting next to her. In fact, she was surrounded by boys, all vying for her attention. Well, there went Sirius's chances.

"Black, Sirius!" Professor McGonagall cried out.

Bile rose to Sirius's throat as murmurs filled three quarters of the room.

"Not another one," a Hufflepuff fifth year groaned to her friend.

"Slytherin for sure, that one," a Ravenclaw commented.

Sirius felt James elbow him in the side, "You didn't tell me you were a Black. I _had_ been hoping we could be in the same house."

Suddenly Sirius grinned. It was time to prove everyone wrong. He wouldn't be in Slytherin, not if he had anything to say about it. He wouldn't even be in Ravenclaw. He would be sorted into the place Blacks were never, ever sorted.

He strolled up to the hat and sat down, allowing Professor McGonagall to lower the hat onto his head.

 _Ah, very interesting. A Black, yes, and ambitious in your own way, but...there's something else. Recklessness, courage...interesting. I see you don't want to be in Slytherin. Very well then,_

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Sirius emerged from under the hat to find a shocked silence covering the hall.

Grinning, he made his way to the Gryffindor table to wait for James to join him.

As soon as he had sat down the hall erupted into whispers.

The older boy next to Sirius clapped him on the back, "Bet your family's not gonna be too happy about that."

"Yeah, well…"

"No, that's good. It means you belong here, brave recklessness and all," He grinned and held out his hand, "I'm Frank Longbottom, third year."

Sirius smiled and shook his hand, "Nice to meet you."

"Evans, Lily!"

Sirius turned and saw the red-headed girl from the compartment walk up to the hat.

He hoped she wouldn't be in Gryffindor. She seemed snobbish, like she knew she was perfect and thought everyone else should think so too.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

So much for that.

She turned to look apologetically at Severus for a second, then hurried over to the Gryffindor table. She considered Sirius, but then shook her head and walked over to sit down at the other end of the table.

Rude.

"Floresque, Alice" was also a Gryffindor, as well as "Lupin, Remus" "McKinnon, Marlene" "Nelson, Lauren" and "Pettigrew, Peter"-the boy with the stuffed bear.

Sirius wondered how that had happened.

Then "Potter, James" was called.

Sirius had only known James for a little while, but he could already tell that James was hiding quite a bit of nervousness behind his strutting.

Almost as soon as the hat touched his head, it screamed out:

"GRYFFINDOR!"

With a huge grin, James ran over to sit next to Sirius, almost tripping on the bench in his hurry.

"We made it, Sirius!"

Sirius chuckled, "Yeah, we did."

He was going to be in so much trouble when he went back home in the summer, but, until then, he may as well relax and enjoy himself. Another girl was sorted into Gryffindor, Sirius missed her name.

Then Severus Snape was called up.

The hat seemed to deliberate longer than Sirius expected, but of course in the end he was sorted into Slytherin. He looked longingly at Lily, then turned and took the walk of shame to the Slytherin table. Sirius's eyes narrowed as he saw Allie scoot over, allowing Snivellus to sit next to her.

"Sirius?" James tapped his shoulder.

He turned back around, "Yeah?"

James motioned to the first year sitting across from them, "This is Remus Lupin. Remus, this is Sirius."

Remus looked like a shy, nerdy boy. Not the type one would expect to find in Gryffindor. His light brown hair hung in his eyes, his skin pale.

"Hi," he said, not meeting Sirius's eyes.

"Hey."

"You excited to be in Gryffindor, Remus?" James asked.

"Yeah."

There was silence for a moment.

Professor Dumbledore was talking, but Sirius didn't care to listen, He looked around the room, but his eyes kept drifting back to the Slytherin table. To his family, and Allie.

Narcissa was pretending to listen to Dumbledore, her face blank, while a boy played with her hair. Andromeda was actually listening to Dumbledore, though every once in a while her gaze drifted to the Hufflepuff table. Allie was writing something on a napkin and listening to Snivellus talk, every once in a while laughing to show that she was still paying attention. The blond boy sitting on one side of Narcissa (Lucius Malfoy, Sirius believed) noticed him looking and frowned. He subtly flicked his wand, and Sirius instinctively moved out of the way. Instead of hitting its intended victim, the spell hit Remus. There was a moment of shocked silence, in which everyone waited to see what would happen, then his skin started turning a painful shade of red, except on his face, where it spelled out: Blood traitor.

A girl screamed. Frank Longbottom and several other older students dove at the bewildered Remus to try to fix it. James stood up and whipped out his wand.

"Who did this?"

Sirius took out his own wand, face twisted with anger, "Lucius Malfoy. I saw."

The boys were about to hit Malfoy with every spell and hex they knew (which wasn't many) when Professor McGonagall strode into their way.

"Wands down, boys," She said calmly, "The teachers will deal with this."

James lowered his wand, and Sirius reluctantly followed his lead.

Professor McGonagall shooed the Gryffindors away from Remus, and examined him. "This boy needs to go to Madame Pomfrey. Mr. Shacklebolt, will you take him."

A large, dark boy with a prefect badge pinned on his robes emerged from the crowd, "Of course, Professor." He gently led Remus away."

Professor McGonagall turned to James and Sirius, "Do either of you know who shot the hex?"

"It was Malfoy," James blurted out.

"I see," McGonagall wiped her hands off on her tartan robe, "Do you know why?"

"He was trying to hit me, Professor." Sirius was slightly nervous around this powerful woman.

"Ah," McGonagall paused, considering, "Well, thank you for telling me. And welcome to Gryffindor, Mr. Black."

Sirius shuddered, "Can you call me Sirius?"

McGonagall frowned, "Of course, Sirius."

She strode away to deal with Malfoy.

"She's the head of Gryffindor house." Frank had somehow appeared beside Sirius without him noticing. His eyes were shining, "Isn't she brilliant?"

"Yeah," Sirius stepped over to James.

"Sirius," James had a strange look in his eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever pranked someone before?"

"Of course I have." He hadn't. "Why?"

James grinned and cracked his knuckles. "Because I have the perfect target in mind."


	3. The Letter

Those next few weeks were some of the best of Sirius's life. James quickly became his best friend, and after avenging Remus, he too joined their crew. The boy with the teddy bear-Peter Pettigrew- was the only other Gryffindor of their age, so he took to following the three around. Sirius adjusted easily to life at Hogwarts. Strangely enough, misbehaving here made him popular. So he, James, and Remus became the pranking masters. Occasionally they would even be paid to prank others. It was starting to become quite a career.

On the fourth week, Sirius was eating breakfast with Remus-James hadn't woken up yet. Remus was looking a little paler than usual.

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked between bites of sausage.

"What do you mean?" Remus was reading, occasionally taking small bites of egg.

"You look sick."

"I might be coming down with something," Remus admitted, "My mum says I have a weak immune system."

"A weak what now?"

"I get sick easily."

"Oh."

Hundreds of owls flew into the Great Hall, carrying packages and letters for students. Sirius had not yet received any communication from his parents, and he lived in constant fear of their response.  
A pure black owl swooped over his head and dropped a letter into his lap.

"Who's that from?" Remus asked.

Sirius examined it carefully, half expecting it to explode. It didn't. Written on the front, in his mother's cramped handwriting, was his name.

"My mother, I think."

"Aren't you going to open it?"

"Yeah." he didn't want to. He'd been having so much fun...

James walked in and tousled Sirius's hair from behind, "How's my favorite Black?"

Sirius forced a grin, "About time you got up, sleepyhead."

"Hey, it's not my fault I need my beauty rest. Not everyone wakes up as perfect as you, Sirius."

"Right." Sirius's eyes drifted back to the letter in his hand.

"You okay, man?"

"Yeah." Sirius stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder. "Listen, man, I have to go. I'll see you in Potions."

Without waiting for a response, he took off. He ran through the castle, not looking where he was going. He wanted to get far away from everyone, to be alone. He was on the seventh floor when he finally stopped and entered the first empty classroom he saw. He sat down at a desk and stared at the unopened letter in his hand. A part of him wanted to throw away, to forget about it and his family, at least until the summer. But deep down he knew that he would be in much bigger trouble if he didn't read it, or respond.  
He opened the envelope and pulled out the letter inside.

 _Sirius,_  
 _Congratulations on getting into Gryffindor. Your father and I are pleased that our son was brave enough to do what no other Black has done. I hope you're happy at Hogwarts. You are making good friends, right? You know how disappointed we would be if you made friends with the wrong sort. We cannot wait to see you over Christmas break. Good luck with your exams._  
 _\- Your mother_

Sirius wanted to throw up. They pretended to care so much, but this letter was full to the brim out barely hidden spite and anger. Was every family like this? Was he just being overdramatic? Was every loving family as fake as his? Maybe. That seemed to be what his parents wanted him to believe. Maybe he should be grateful that he, at least, had a family. Some people didn't.

"Sirius!"

Sirius shoved the letter out of sight before even looking up.

James stood in front of him, looking concerned, "You missed Potions."

Sirius shrugged, "It's not like I learn anything in that class, anyway."

"True, but you left me with no one to talk to."

"Sorry about that."

"Have you been reading that letter this whole time?" James whistled, "Your mom must have had a lot to say."

"What letter?" Sirius pushed the letter further out of sight.

James frowned, "Remus tools me you got a letter from your mum this morning."

"Oh that," Sirius waved him away, "I finished that forever ago."

"What did it say?"

Sirius thought about it for a moment. It couldn't hurt to show James the letter. All of the hatred was properly disguised. He pulled it out, "Just the usual."

James skimmed it. "That's weird."

"What?"

"I thought your parents would be more upset about you being in Gryffindor, since they're Blacks."

"Oh, I'm sure they are quite angry about it."

"Then why'd they congratulate you?"

"Didn't yours?"

"Yeah, but they actually meant it."

"Hm."

"So, what have you been doing, if you weren't reading this letter?" James put it back on the desk.

"I was just thinking."

"What about?"

Sirius didn't like where this conversation was going. He forced a lighthearted smile, "Don't tell me you've never skipped a class before, just because you felt like it."

"Well..." James looked sheepish.

"You're kidding me. James, the crazy prankster, has never skipped out on class?" Sirius shoved the letter in his bag. "Oh, I'm going to make a rebel out of you."

"Hey, I may not have skived class, but I have dished out pretty nasty pranks, unlike you."

Sirius stood up. "I've pranked people before!"

"Yeah, with my help!"

"I was pranking long before you showed up!"

"Yeah? Then how come you didn't even know how to start?" James was up in Sirius's face now. They glared at each other.

"Aww, how cute," a female voice drawled.

Sirius and James looked up quickly.

Allie, Remus, and Peter were standing in the doorway, all three on the verge of laughter.

Sirius sat back down and fiddled with his bag to hide his red face. "What are you all doing here?"

"Interrupting your intimate moment with James, apparently." Allie leaned against the door. "Really, James, I knew you had a thing for bad boys, but a Black?"

James flushed, "That's ridiculous, Al. We were just arguing." He brushed past her as he left the room, then turned and added, "And I do not have a thing for bad boys or boys at all!"

Allie shook her head sadly, "He's in denial," she told Remus and Peter.

Peter laughed, even Sirius was pretty sure he didn't understand.

Sirius stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder, "So, why did you come here?"

"I was attracted by the sound of arguing and sexual tension," Allie shrugged, "What can I say? I'm a sucker for drama."

"Peter and I were looking for you," Remus spoke up, "You missed class."

"Didn't feel like wasting my time. I already know all that stuff."

"And sitting by yourself in an empty classroom isn't a waste of time?"

Sirius was surprised. He had never heard Remus talk back before, "Yeah...I mean, you're right."

"Well, I have to go," Allie patted Peter's head, "Take care of this kiddo for me, will you?"

"I'm only a year younger than..." Peter started, but Allie was already gone.

Sirius wrapped an arm around his shoulders, "Come on, buddy, let's go get some food."

"Actually," Remus said, "we have to get to c-"

"Class. I know," Sirius rolled his eyes, "thanks, Remus." He wrapped his other arm around Remus's shoulders. "To Transfigurations, then."

"Charms."

"That's what I said."


End file.
